June Wrap-Up

Oh hey, June. I mean, goodbye? Just like May, every weekend had a commitment, and it was surprising. The first weekend we split between Rehoboth and Delaware for a graduation party, the second split between Rehoboth and Rising Sun for Chelsea's Bridal Shower, the third weekend Robby's family came up to do some electrical work on our house, and the last weekend was Chelsea's wedding. To sum it up: a whirlwind of in-law family time!

Physical Lessons

Call me a quitter, that's fine because just as quickly as I started Weight Watchers, I quit mid-June. After a month and a half of not reining in my self-control, I dropped it because why pay for something I'm not using? On the days I would eat terribly, I purposely avoided tracking it because I knew I went over my points. And then I felt that week was kind of pointless because I didn't want to deal with it. But it's fine because I did something I've been wanting to do for a while now - you already know. I went to my first fitness class at the gym (yayyy). I went to a cycling class at 8:30 on a Saturday morning, by myself, and I actually really liked it. I want to try out a few more first before I commit to anything, but I'm excited that I at least got that initial fear out of the way. And this week I lost four pounds just by being more conscious of what I'm eating and listening to my body. It also probably helps that I've been living off of summer fruit :)

Relationship Growth

Can I just get it on the record that I have a love/hate relationship with salesmen? I love them when I'm looking to buy something because I know how to work them. I hate them when I'm not looking to buy something and they keep trying to work me. Example of the latter: Robby and I won a two-night, three-day stay to Massanutten Resort in Virginia. As part of the prize stipulation, we were told we would have to sit through a 90-minute sales pitch/presentation of the timeshares the resort offers. No problem. However, it turned crazy after our sales rep spent over two hours driving us around the resort, and then went and got his manager to try to convince us for another 45+ minutes to buy a timeshare after we told our original sales rep we weren't interested! Anyone can tell you, I'm a pretty understanding person. If I have to be harsh, I'll try my darnedest to do it in the nicest way possible, BUT by the end of this sales pitch, I was done. Before I even got to that point, we were told we were wasting their time (?!?!), were being condescending, and were missing out on a prime opportunity because we "couldn't use mommy and daddy's benefits forever." Um, first, you don't know our families. Second, yeah. We can. Especially when we're told to. SO GET OUTTA MY LIFE. I know this whole paragraph just sounds like me bitching about the experience (which, to be fair, yes), but it also really, really tested my patience. And Robby's. And we both realized we've got to start being more positive more often. We did what we could about being patient. We spent maybe thirty minutes on the ride home discussing what had happened and then we vowed to drop it. We still got our free stay. We were definitely looking forward to what we could do in VA while using it. There were more good things at the end of the day than that one bad (long) experience.

My other relationship note from this month that I tried to be mindful of doing was paying attention to Robby's love language(s). I know that the ways I show love are through physical touch, gifts, and words of affirmation. His are definitely through actions/quality time and words of affirmation. The two examples recently happened in the same day. The first was Tuesday morning. I had texted my boss asking if I could work from home because I was pretty beat from the weekend, and she obliged. Robby was still sleeping and didn't know what was going on. So, when I walked into the bedroom after my shower at almost 9:00 AM, he jumped up and said, "Are you alright? Why are you still here? You're going to be late for work." I then told him I was working from home, not to worry, to which he groggily responded, "I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Cue the "Awwwww's." That same day, we spent the majority of the afternoon using a free trial on Ancestry.com and seeing how far we could trace our lineages back. He got all the way to Germany in the early 1700s and I got back to Germany, France, and Switzerland in the 1600s. As I was getting ready for bed, he said, "I had fun with you today." He normally doesn't say things like that, even on our most fun days. So it was really special to hear him say that.

TWITTER HIGHLIGHTS

Professional Skills

Ya girl had a breakdown at work this month. In front of my boss. Like, all-of-a-sudden, full on ugly cry. It started because my boss assigned me THE "big project." After working for almost a full year as a grant writer, it's getting to be around that time where I start taking on bigger writing projects. I know, "But what about the Annual Report?" While that is like the *biggest* writing project, it's not a big grant-writing project. My boss gave me a federal grant-sized project and after getting frustrated on the phone with another superior (we just weren't on the same page. I wasn't communicating clearly and we were going in circles), I hung up the phone and almost simultaneously broke into tears. My superior is a person in the office that takes a little bit to get on their good side, and with the Annual Report, I felt like I was. Questioning her or trying to clarify on the phone could lead to conflict, and I just wasn't about that. But it left me frustrated because I wasn't communicating clearly, but also I had just been given a lot more responsibility and would need to communicate with her more frequently. I was a mess.

Needless to say, I've realized that, right now, where I am in my life, I'm not trying to climb any ladders and gain more responsibility. I know that sounds like I'm settling, and I'll admit it: I want to settle for a little bit. I feel like I've been hustling for the past five years? Last year being the pinnacle of "Girl Bossing." I'm just done for a little bit. So I was stressed to the max, but it's fine. I'm good now. And I feel like I'm constantly being reminded that growing pains, especially professional growing pains, are usually always a good thing. "Ashley, relax."

Books I've Read

The Hopefuls by Jennifer Close

I'll say it right off the bat: not impressed with this book. And I can already hear my friends saying, "Well, when you pick a book you don't have to think much about, what do you expect?" I'll admit. I judged a book by its cute, color-coordinated cover and by the familiarity of its locations (Washington, D.C., and Texas).

So is it a big surprise that I walked away disappointed with this one? The protagonist, Beth, I felt like I could relate to at first. Her husband, Matt, has a big family, she's kind of struggling to figure out what it is she wants to do with her life (I mean, most of the time I'm fine with where I am, but I wonder sometimes), and other various little nuances the book gives about her. But then, once the book started taking off, that familiar feeling disappeared. She's flat. Matt and their friends from Texas, Ash and Jimmy, become insufferable. There is barely anything actually hopeful about the book. And I found the climax to be more annoying than whatever the author was trying to make me feel (if it was annoyed, congrats, you did it!). Instead of DC being described lovingly, as I hold it in my mind, it was written from the perspective of someone who hated it. And the same went for Texas, which I also hold dear. So, the book overall, I wouldn't read it again. If you're looking for a political "drama" centered around two young couples, it might be something you enjoy. It's not something you have to think about much (which served the main reason I picked it). But when I was done, I didn't feel the need to discuss it with anyone. It didn't strike me, particularly in the way that Everyone Brave is Forgiven did, to need to talk about it. It was just overall too negative for me. Not exactly the attitude I wanted to have when reading a summer book with such a contrasting title, and such a great cover design. *grumbles under breath*

Monthly Mantra

This is big and bold this month because it's helped me so many times when I felt discouraged with adapting to a healthier lifestyle, when I would come into work and look at someone who had seemingly more independence, or when I found myself growing slightly jealous over what someone else had. I would find myself stopping and asking, why not me? Why should I get jealous when I just need to work harder for it? It has been incredibly helpful, and I've found myself saying it multiple times a day some days. Others, just once when I wake up or when I think about something I need to work a little bit harder for.

June Reflections

Two things: I haven't used my bullet journal since April *gasp* and I really need to be more positive on Twitter. It has purposely been my place to kind of vent, but I'm kind of over it to be honest. No one likes a Negative Nancy, which is also my primary source of comedy most of the time. I mock complain, can be incredibly self-demeaning, or am extremely sarcastic for the sake of making someone laugh and I realize I really do need to stop it. So I'm going to sit down today (July 2) and get back into bullet journaling. And I'm going to be more mindful to channeling positivity. If you consider yourself a master of doing so, can you give me some tips?

Movies I've watched this past month: Lion and Moana. First of all, Lion was incredible. I had feelings at the end of it because during the movie I was getting annoyed with how mopey he was. But after watching it all the way through, it was so apparent that I was speaking from a place of complete ignorance. Of course he felt that way! I couldn't even imagine feeling the burden he felt, the guilt, the constant search for his identity. It was such an emotionally complex film, beautifully captured. Dev Patel hit me right in the heartstrings. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Secondly, Moana was adorable. Granted, Dwayne Johnson's character, Maui, was a little too over the top for me -- too kitschy, too WWE's The Rock. I wasn't a fan. But everything else was spectacular. The whole movie was aesthetically stunning.

Top five things I was thankful for this month:

1. An understanding work place that gives me "work from home" days when I'm emotionally/physically exhausted

2. Reliable, caring friends

3. A garden that seems to be thriving! :)

4. Beautiful weather for Chelsea's wedding

5. A long, long 4th of July weekend

Also, can I get a pat on the back for posting the most in one month that I've ever posted? Hopefully with the continuation of the "Cooking Every Recipe" challenge, it'll stay a consistent thing. If you follow me on Twitter, you better hold me accountable to being more positive, okay?!

As always, thanks for reading. I appreciate your encouragement, love, and support. xoxo