November Wrap-Up

November was a good month. There were highs and lows, but I felt like it was another good month of growth and learning, of trying new recipes, and getting things done around the house.

Physical Notes

During the summer, I had spoken with the manager of my gym and told him I wanted to cancel my husband and I's memberships because paying $40/mo for a year AND NOT EVER GOING is a huge waste of money I don't even want to think about. I had tried going to a cycling class, and we tried waking up early a handful of times to go. But I didn't like cycling - I didn't have the motivation to go, and running on a treadmill is boring af. BUT a few weeks ago, I looked at the classes one more time to see if there was anything I could salvage before my membership expired and I noticed a class called BodyFlow that mixed Tai Chi, Pilates, and yoga. I had heard that Pilates was a great workout but not strenuous, and I knew from my own experience doing yoga at home that it was enjoyable for me. So, I worked up the courage and went to two classes within a week's span . . . and I loved them. Granted, granted. There were MAJOR hippie vibes and after the first class, I had to say a prayer of thanks that my husband had declined my many attempts at getting him to come with me. He would have hated it. I, on the other hand, feel like I've found my secret weapon to combating the stress that I accumulate over a week's time. I was dripping sweat during each class, and yet greatly benefited from the calm, positive atmosphere. Not to mention, that little quiet time at the end made me feel like a brand new person.

I'll admit it's not for everyone, but I'm kind of excited to establish a routine (yes, I'm renewing my membership now) that includes BodyFlow, SkyFit (that awesome, killer trampoline class), and walking. If I can get at least two intense classes that I enjoy into my week and then walk a few days, I think I'll notice a big difference in my blood pressure/heart health, and my stress levels.

Relationship Notes

So, this month brought a lot of personal family drama - I mean, I shouldn't be too surprised because the holidays are upon us. But both instances took me totally by surprise. I won't get into details, but I've realized more so after these events that my family, and myself in general, have a really difficult time opening up and being vulnerable with each other. It takes a lot of courage to love someone with abandon, and it's something my family has not mastered. (I also get that families aren't perfect, but the idea of being vulnerable to each other is something that has never been fathomed with mine.) It's really made me reevaluate my emotional availability not only with my husband and my own family, but even with my in-laws. Actually, especially with my in-laws. Half of them are so openly loving and caring, and I've noticed that I immediately get uncomfortable around these direct shows of affection. It's hard for me to call my mother-in-law "Mom," and to tell her that I love her. I do, trust me, but there's something deep down that prevents me from saying it with full conviction.

I think a lot of it stems from deeply rooted feelings of everything being temporary. As a kid, most things I got excited about fell through, whether it be time with people or activities I really wanted to do. One of the turning points in Robby and I's relationship was when we were hanging out at my house, shortly after we started dating, and he went to leave. He hugged me, and I immediately burst into tears, asking him not to go. I was so afraid that something so great would leave, and it devastated me just thinking about it.

So now, with a whole new set of family who constantly makes themselves emotionally vulnerable to me, I'm finding it really difficult to open up because deep down I haven't accepted permanence. I'm afraid that if I do, it won't last and I'll be disappointed or let down yet again. I know that sounds terrible, right? Like I'm expected Robby and I to get a divorce down the road. But I'm not, at all. I'm so proud of the work we've put into our relationship and I know we're both in it for the long haul. Which is why my feelings are so ridiculous. But I'm trying to work on it - I know that this will take a lot of time for me to learn to let down my walls and let go of my fear.

Twitter Highlights

Professional Notes

In October, I was feeling pretty fatigued with work. I can say that this past month has been nice - the commutes have been more bearable, and I don't know if it's because I've been praying about it or someone else has, or if maybe something inside of me shifted. I have more patience when last minute tasks come in, and I'm overall just feeling more thankful for my work environment and colleagues. Maybe it's just because of the time of year, but I'm hoping to remember this feeling when some of my bigger projects come at the start of the new year.

Books I've Read

I feel like it's been a while since I started and finished a book, let alone two, but this month I had a laser focus on learning more about my health. Both of these books really helped me put things into perspective, whether it was about slowly adopting positive changes (instead of dropping everything overnight) or completely changing my attitude toward food and my body. The Wellness Project by Phoebe Lapine follows a food blogger and chef as she takes a year to become healthier by adopting green makeup, getting off of birth control, consuming less sugar and caffeine, and making her meals more plant-based. (There's more - that's just a brief overview.) Her writing is engaging and comical while also encouraging others who wish to be healthier that small changes over time can make a big difference. She also gives a lot of great supplemental materials that you can continue reading in each area she addresses. I walked away feeling confident that I could make some of those changes in my own life, when before they had seemed like daunting tasks. If you're curious about how you can take baby steps to adopting a healthier lifestyle, I would definitely suggest you grab yourself a copy of this book.

The next one, The Goddess Revolution by Mel Wells, is the perfect follow-up, in my opinion. The writing is easy and to the point, but sometimes, especially on a journey such as this one, you need to hear those phrases that sometimes seem a little too obvious. Every time I may have found myself saying, "Well, duh," I also realized that I was doing what she was pointing out. This book is kind while also trying to empower women (and men) to take control of your body and live the life you've always wanted. Oftentimes, we'll say, "I'll do X once I've lost weight," or "I'll truly enjoy Y when I've gotten down to a certain size." I didn't think I would ever feel pretty enough in my wedding dress unless I lost the weight I wanted to lose. But this book is a healthy reminder that the life you're in right now is the one you're living - so what is holding you back from enjoying it? Is it constantly worrying about the food you're eating while you're with family? Is it feeling gross on group outings? This book helps you come face-to-face with those issues and reminds you that you are a powerful force worth cherishing and investing healthy time into. While I know some of my Christian friends might hesitate at a title that includes goddess, there isn't anything weird. She uses that term as a means of empowering the reader and making them realize that they are responsible for the decisions they make. Highly recommend if you need some empowerment or encouragement or both.

Monthly Mantra

I know it's not really a mantra, but after reading The Goddess Revolution, I feel like I need to remind myself of these things daily. It's very encouraging, and I like to keep it close.

November Notes

I'm going to start out with things I've watched this month because I think I'm most excited about that. Robby and I finished the first three seasons of TURN, which is all that's currently available on Netflix. While some important parts of the story are definitely fictionalized to add drama, it was really fun seeing these people brought to life, especially George Washington, John Andre, and Benedict Arnold. We're both now anxiously awaiting when the last season becomes available.

Other movies I've watched this month include Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. II; Spiderman: Homecoming; Justice League; and Murder on the Orient Express. I enjoyed all of them, but I really want to read Murder on the Orient Express now that I've seen the movie. I know it's a little backward, but I didn't have the chance amid the other two books I was reading to sneak it in there. The movie felt like you were back in the 1930s - there wasn't a lot of intense action or gore, just moments, but it was fun.

We traveled to Tennessee in the beginning of the month to see Robby's sister and her husband. It was a lot of fun being back where I went to college, on alumni weekend oddly enough. We didn't spend any time on campus, except for church. But I was excited to finally have Robby spend more than 24 hours there. Separately, we also had the opportunity to have our own Thanksgiving because of the family drama I mentioned earlier. It ended up being really relaxed, and seeing how excited Robby was was encouraging. We visited our family separately after we ate, and still had a great day with family.

November Gratitude List

1. BodyFlow being a lot of fun

2. Thanksgiving with Robby

3. An extra day off during Thanksgiving week

4. Not walking more than in October, but finding alternative exercises that I enjoy

5. My blood pressure and weight were better at this month's doctor's visit than it had been before! :)

I think I'm going to make a post on soups I've been loving this season. I'll try to be as detailed as possible and link as many recipes as I can. That's the only other thing I have on the agenda currently, so if there are other things you'd like to read about, let me know. It can be about health-related stuff, recipes, crafts, anything! Shoot off in the comments below! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season. xoxo